Prison break

After months of cabin fever and enduring a battery of unchallenging conversations at the hands of his parents, Jack had had enough.

He enlisted the aid of his trusty Bumbo and hatched an escape plan: make a mad dash for the border under the cover of naptime. The plan was going off without a hitch, that is until the house dogs--aka "the lapdogs"--saw their chance to curry favor with their owners and ratted them out with a few well-timed barks from the window.

Freedom was so close, Jack and Bumbo could taste it.

Lesson learned: Next time, before disembarking, remember to grease the skids with the dogs.

Have Bumbo, will travel

Jack and his borrowed Bumbo have become fast friends, setting off on excursions to the far reaches of his parents' strange and exotic fenced-in property. Upon his return, Jack regales listeners with tales from his adventures, including his legendary encounter with a poisonous snake, which he says he trapped in his iron grip and dispatched in a vigorous bout of gnawing.

Going Bumbo

Jack borrowed a Bumbo from friends, and then promptly spent the entire day in the thing, save for wardrobe breaks. Still, it provided for emotional roller coaster ride, as documented below.

Same video, different host

Apparently, the good folks at Google Video are prone to keeping the Jack video all to themselves. Jack says this is not the way it was meant to be, and has instructed his posse to place the same video on a competitor's site: YouTube.

With any luck, this video will play more consistently. We'll see.

Jack gets a role in summer blockbuster

Jack was followed around by a documentary crew this past week. The tally: A sum total of 20 minutes of video, which was then trimmed and stuffed into the vignettes below. Once Jack can sit up and maybe crawl through the house, the video crew said they'd be interested in returning for a sequel. Ecstatic at the prospect of more camera time, Jack threw aloft the chicken wing, which is his patented mid-western gang sign.

The video is sort of longish (a minute and a half), which means it may take a minute or so to upload depending on your internet connection.

Appearing soon...

GassyJack's will soon feature video footage, thanks to Jack signing off on the purchase of a new Panasonic camcorder.

Below is the operator's attempt to learn iMovie.

Jack sniffed that the first attempt was "borderline unwatchable." Future attempts, he warned, better be more seasoned and polished, showing the camcorder's subject in a more "flattering and favorable light." This has all been duly noted.

Jack's Mega-Mind-Blowing Magical Moment

Jack has been working on a magic trick, which he says is not for the faint of heart. So brace yourself. He'll take it from here.

"See this fist? Watch me eat it whole."

"Mmmpfff..."

"Mmmmppfffhh...."

"Hmmmpph..."

(crying noises)

(pouting noises)

(sulking noises)

"You won't tell anyone about this, will you?"