GassyJacks

Christmas 2011 photo dump

2012-01-10T23:05:00.003-05:00

Photo dump, part whatever

2011-10-31T21:01:00.002-04:00

The move to the new house now complete, Gus and Jack have a lot more time to devote to their usual backyard pursuits. Also included in this edition of the photo dump: Jack visits the children's museum (thanks Bergmans!); Gus hogs the remote on NFL Sunday; Jack and Gus streak the hallowed halls before bathtime; and Jack and Gus don their Halloween costumes for a little neighborhood candy-plundering.

Tune in next week for even more grand adventures. (Yes, that means the wedding season is nearly over, affording GassyJack's proprieter more time to devote to kids pics.)

Summer scenes

2011-08-28T23:20:00.003-04:00

Jack and Gus have been busy looking at houses over the past month, but alas, there was still time for the occasional park, trail or basement trek. Jack says a photo dump was in order, so here it is.

Jack hiked Raven's Run out to the scenic overlook.

This is the look Gus gives after he successfully rejects a new food, forcing his beleaguered caretakers to retreat to the fridge for his beloved yogurt.

Cruising the mall.

Couch shenanigans.

Gus works on locomotion.

Duet at the gate

2011-07-04T22:14:00.001-04:00

Untitled from reggie beehner on Vimeo.

Parking it

2011-06-15T15:29:00.002-04:00

With the school playground under construction, Gus and Jack have been forced to find adventure elsewhere, namely at the city park down the road. The trappings aren't quite as elaborate as the school's, but Gus has quickly warmed up to the swing set, which has helped foster his love for hurtling through the air.

Rising to the challenge

2011-06-10T22:16:00.003-04:00

Showing Gus the ropes

2011-06-10T22:10:00.002-04:00

Jack's helped Gus cultivate an affinity for wood chips, thanks to some mentoring sessions down by the playground.

A band of brothers

2011-06-04T20:51:00.002-04:00

Jack's recently discovered that his brother, Gus, is a handy sidekick to have around, especially when there's wood chips to be hurled.

Gus and Jack appeased

2011-05-30T02:05:00.002-04:00

Gus and Jack noted their disappointment with the inactivity shown on GassyJacks of late, and the message came through loud and clear. So to get back on the up & up with the little guys, the blog's proprietor is just dumping whatever he could find in the photo bin, namely photos of their trip to Louisville and the local schoolyard.

Gus' recipe for success

2011-04-24T22:58:00.011-04:00

You're probably thinking all this comes easy to me. But there's actually a lot to it.

First off, I gotta watch my diet. Take this dirt here.

Getting it down the gullet ain't no picnic.

Then there's the bath. And no wimpy warm one either. This sucker's ice cold.

Block raises help pep up the gun show.

And I like to throw in a few unorthodox exercises of my own.

But that's not the half of it.

There's also calisthenics in the yard.

Deep pondering by the wood chips.

And the doubts that come with wondering whether it's all worth it.

But, yeah, I'd say it is.

Jack in bloom

2011-04-24T22:52:00.002-04:00

Occasionally, Jack gets release time from the big house.

So he makes the most of it.

He'll help direct city work crews to problem areas.

And occasionally he'll have to step in himself.

Spring arrives

2011-03-19T02:06:00.002-04:00

Birthday cupcake icing beard.

Baby Gus needs a walk.

Gus enjoying the spring air.

Gus speaks his peace

2011-01-19T22:39:00.002-05:00

Up to this point, Gus has been a man of few words. But that's starting to change. And sometimes what he has to say needs to be delivered with some emphasis. Just hit the play button to get Gus' daily message of hope.

Gus speaks his peace from reggie beehner on Vimeo.

Christmas balloon

2010-12-30T21:29:00.011-05:00

Jack's looking to go pro with his balloon act now that's he's paid his dues.

His technique is refined.

His finale memorable.

It all began Christmas morning with a gift of a single balloon.

Sure, Grandma and Grandpa doled out other fine gifts by the truckload.

But his mind was elsewhere: Mentally steeling itself to balance under that balloon.

Gus was a wellspring of encouragement.

And Jack thought a drum roll appropriate for the decision he was about to make.

"Hmmm...Are you sure you've thought this through?" Gus asked.

"I mean a balloon can hold only so much helium, right?"

"Maybe instead we could become wizards?"

"Oh wait, this is where you tell me wizards don't exist..."

"Yeah, yeah... But if that's true, explain the spell I just cast on you."

"It's gonna mess you up."

"Zeppi's in on it, too," Gus added.

"Silly, Gus. Where you been?"

"We already are wizards."

The many moods of Gus

2010-11-26T23:08:00.002-05:00

Downward bound

Intellectually curious

#@*!^%#@

Idea driven

Pleasantly content

Posse posturing

Floor fiesta

Costume drama

2010-11-04T22:43:00.003-04:00

Gus and Jack got into the Halloween spirit. Gus opted to let the irony sail right on by, dressing as something he couldn't enjoy due to his absence of teeth. That left Jack to carry the candy load. And he didn't mind stepping up for the chore, even if he did find it surreal that he could march up strangers' stoops, rap on the door and be rewarded for the effrontery. He couldn't believe his luck. When he got home, he immediately pulled out a 2011 calendar, marking next year's date with a happy face.

Imagine that

2010-10-04T22:28:00.002-04:00

Jack took off last week to invade and conquer a neighboring province, claiming the small hillside for himself and his Wild Thing friends. Thankfully, the mission went smoothly and he was back by suppertime.

Settling in

2010-10-04T22:19:00.006-04:00

With a lot of leisure time comes a lot of leisure activities--something Gus has grown to know well. So he measures the time by way of different facial expressions and the occasional raised fist to demonstrate his solidarity to the cause. And please, there will be no questioning of his commitment. That only serves to make Gus very, very sad.

Gus and Jack seize the days

2010-08-29T22:12:00.001-04:00

Your room, sir

2010-07-29T21:56:00.004-04:00

Gus has warmed up to his new environs. Kinda hard not to--the bottles come like clockwork, naps appear to be encouraged, dirty diapers are ushered away, and the staff seems pretty attentive.

Hard to decide what to do next.

Better settle in for a deep think.

Maybe gesture to show the cross I'm bearing.

Pose for a few shots with the staff.

Watch the rabble amuse themselves.

Greet visitors from afar.

And pay my allegiances to the horned one.

Gus arrives

2010-07-13T22:33:00.001-04:00

And just like that, GassyJacks doubles in size, welcoming the newest addition to the Beehner brood: Gus Michael. He made his first appearance at 4:02 a.m., Tuesday, July 13, 2010, and immediately gave the room and its inhabitants a good once-over, making use of his best non-goopy eye.

First order of business: Hit the scales.

Next: Meet the marvel who lugged me around for nine months.

So that's the paparazzi geek Jack warned me about.

Time to get to know mom, Charlie Rose-style.

Her story checks out.

May as well let my guard down.

And squeeze in a quick catnap.

Maybe drag it into extra-time.

Wait a sec. I was told there'd be fawning.

That's the ticket.

The Master recognizes the new guy's methods.

And Grandma takes the bait.

Grandpa, too. I think I'm gonna like it here.

Civil disobedience

2010-03-28T22:41:00.002-04:00

Notes from the playground

2010-03-28T22:34:00.002-04:00

Jack the existentialist

2010-03-12T21:35:00.004-05:00

Jack's existentialist period continues

2010-03-12T21:27:00.003-05:00

Two down

2010-02-28T15:35:00.004-05:00

Jack turned two this weekend, celebrating with friends at a local watering hole.

The festive mood was palpable.

And Jack took it upon himself to order for the group.

With his buddy Henry on hand, Jack figured he should entertain.

First some stainless steel magic.

Then some impressions.

But Henry had bigger fish to fry, deciding they should break into the federal government's mainframe computer from their V-Tech.

Done before the food arrived.

Then Jack's birthday cupcake made its entrance.

And Jack thought the candle looked good enough to touch.

Until some dastardly parents intervened.

And the party took a different turn.

An uneasy truce

2010-02-28T15:19:00.004-05:00

As the household's two neediest members, Jack and Jazzeppi have something of a kinship, even if it's a precarious one at that.

Jack begins by stating his intentions to make Jazzeppi uncomfortable.

He then cautiously advances.

And bellies up to Jazzeppi, putting to rest any questions of who wears the pants.

To assuage the guilt, Jack offers some counsel, telling Jazzeppi not to take the news too badly.

But if only he wouldn't undermine his progress by rubbing it in.

Halcyon days

2010-02-28T15:07:00.003-05:00

Whenever Grandpa Jack stops in for a visit, as he did for Jack's second birthday, all gets right with the world. Maybe it's the name thing. Or the shared affinity for the Boston Red Sox. Or maybe Jack finally found a sympathetic ear for his elaborate tales of trekking to planets inhabited only by monkeys.

The precious

2010-02-28T15:01:00.002-05:00

Jack has a thing for lights. He spots them everywhere, and doesn't let them go unnoticed by the unappreciative public. The local children's museum has become something of a shrine, particularly because Jack can lord over this one giant lightning bug, illuminating it on his command.

Snow wars

2010-02-28T14:52:00.003-05:00

Finally treated to some honest snow, Jack headed out to make its acquaintance.

Jazzeppi kept him safe from advancing soccer balls.

And Jack thought it wise to retreat.

Once inside, safe on his escape tower, he informed the soccer balls that their days were numbered.

A Christmas seemingly long ago

2010-02-28T14:37:00.003-05:00

Several weeks (or months) ago, Jack enjoyed his first relatively sentient Christmas. His Indiana grandparents paid him a visit, and he thought highly of their hotel room.

Jack's first task: Secure the remote.

Then get the dogs to stop barking.

Next, time to entertain by reading aloud a few passages from the travel magazine.

And before leaving, Jack likes to tip his cap to acknowledge the hospitality.

Once home, Jack had some stuff to hide.

And a neighborhood to patrol.

Lest the folks doubt his vigilance.

Beehner bash

2009-12-20T19:07:00.003-05:00

Ummy and Bumpa Beehner paid a nice pre-Christmas visit to Jack this week, treating him to some homespun magic and family fun. Jack really took a shine to Ummy's walker, that is until he found himself underneath it. Then the two had a falling out.

Operation Winter

2009-12-05T21:04:00.003-05:00

Greeted by the season's first snowfall, Jack got out and showed it the business, sporting a smart ensemble that tamed the cold and looked good doing it.

Candy shakedown

2009-11-17T00:09:00.002-05:00

For Halloween, Jack brought his A-game, squeezing into a pumpkin costume that delivered on its promise of a snug fit. He then went about his trick-or-treat routine with some serious gusto, storming the sidewalk and plundering neighborhood cribs for his rightful bounty. Still, his harvest proved to be surprisingly modest: a single Kit-Kat bar. His quest having run its full course, Jack decided to give up the ghost and turn his attention to more pressing and serious matters, like the relocation of some nearby rocks.

Fancy free

2009-10-25T13:26:00.002-04:00

Jack's been feeling in the pink lately, thanks in part to his evolving speech abilities. Sure, on the surface, they sound like babbling, and no one has a clue what he's talking about. But that's not important--he'll wait for us to catch up. Until then, the insights and witty patter packed into his monologues will be enjoyed by him alone.

Days of thunder

2009-09-10T22:58:00.003-04:00

With summer almost over, Jack's dead set on wringing all the excitement he can out of his remaining days, whether he's hanging out in the backseat of the daycare bus, kicking it up at the park or standing late-night watch over his neighborhood corner.

Stubborn stroller

2009-08-27T22:11:00.006-04:00

Jack's a man of routine. And his routine pretty much consists of waiting around begrudgingly until it's time for his evening walk. And although the neighborhood is vast, encompassing dozens of exotic streets and sidewalks, Jack's not one for deviating from his predetermined route--namely the same one he took months ago when he first learned to piddle down the sidewalk. It worked well then. It works well now. Those other options, Jack sniffs, are fool's gold.

Wild dunes

2009-08-27T22:04:00.003-04:00

A few days in sunny Charleston, S.C., did wonders for Jack's appreciation of the finer things in life: such as sand. And wet sand.

A pair of Jacks

2009-07-31T23:25:00.002-04:00

Grandpa Jack paid a visit this month, bearing bad news about the woes of Jack's beloved Cubs. Although Jack at first wouldn't hear of it, he ultimately let down his guard, acknowledging he'd probably be better off climbing aboard the Red Sox bandwagon. But, he added, only on one condition: Grandpa Jack would first have to survive one his sassafras stare-downs.

He got next

2009-07-31T22:47:00.001-04:00

Stepping out

2009-07-15T21:27:00.004-04:00

Jack's been the picture of confidence of late, thanks largely to his new shirt attesting to his status as a "big deal."

His strides are bold and with purpose.

His ambitions: lofty and undaunted.

His attention to detail: surgical and precise.

His flirts with flight: awe inspiring.

His neighborhood gang signs: fresh and inventive.

His coping with the fact that tomorrow brings a different shirt: not so good.

A tale of two walks

2009-06-26T21:28:00.006-04:00

Jack's afternoon walk began ominously, with fierce storm clouds brewing.

The view a few hours later.

Fortunately, the next day's balmy weather put the skip back in his step.

And bolstered his adventurous spirit.

Wood chips still held their allure.

As did neighborhood noises.

All was right with the world.

Even on the ground below.

But a nagging thought still lingered.

Maybe there was more to life than hurling wood chips.

Maybe the playground wasn't the greatest thing since the invention of the submarine.

Maybe something bigger and better was out there, just over the next hill.

Ahhhh....found it.

Tub teether

2009-06-26T21:18:00.004-04:00

Jack's baths usually consist of him searching for things to gnaw on. When all else fails, Jack says, there ain't no shame in going for the tub itself.

Summer stroller

2009-06-18T22:21:00.003-04:00

At the end of long day, Jack likes march around the neighborhood, inspecting the curbs and checking for litter. Then he turns his eye to the nearby schoolyard, combing the grounds and making sure everything's still nice and safe for the kids. Once he's sure everything checks out, it's across a field and back to the homestead. Still, it's a lot to worry about. And even during his evening bath, Jack sometimes lets it weigh on his thoughts.

Operation woodchips

2009-06-07T02:16:00.014-04:00

It's been noted that Jack has an affinity for wood chips--or, more accurately, for hurling them in every direction. The curious are informed that it's not for them to understand.

Soccer ball.

Eh. It ain't no bed of dirty rocks.

Dad's prohibitions taken in stride.

Not a problem. Naptime's for sneaking.

Coast's clear.

Paydirt.

These wood chips go here.

These have other plans.

Traveling plans.

Shush. You hear something?

It's the fuzz.

Every man for himself.

No time for caution.

Got to shake them.

Now double back.

Seems it did the trick.

Until we tangle again, wood chips.

Bed head and bread

2009-05-29T22:31:00.002-04:00

After a nice nap, Jack likes to let loose on the Wonderbread. Then, once his plate is cleared, he likes to take a little time to wonder.

Dog days

2009-05-26T22:51:00.005-04:00

Jack's finally getting down to brass tacks this summer, getting in some serious walking time in the driveway and along the sidewalk to the neighboring elementary school, where a few playground pens just so happen to harbor a bountiful supply of wood chips (a personal favorite, as Jack believes they should liberated from their captive state). Upon his arrival back at the homestead, Jack makes known that the idle life is not for him. He then turns back on the hustle. Well...that is until he gets his mitts on a tall order of milk. That stuff's just too damn good.

Mother's Day

2009-05-07T20:57:00.002-04:00

Jack wanted to do something nice for mom, like maybe take some pictures at the local park. But plans went south once a fever came on, causing Jack's normally jovial temperament to teeter more toward sour and surly. Luckily, Jack forgot his dour mood on a few shots, letting a thin sliver of sunshine peek through. Not for long though. And despite his able legs, which have been supporting his upright jaunts for the past few weeks, he thought it proper that he roll back the clock and crawl while at the park. It just seemed more fitting with the forlorn theme he was going for.

Jack turns 1

2009-03-22T23:11:00.003-04:00

For Jack's first birthday, he traveled to Indianapolis, where he took in the sights at the Children's Museum and spent some quality time with his grandparents and his aunt, uncle and cousins. He said he's already started planning for birthday number two. But we've had to knock down some of his ideas due to budget constraints and the fact that his bedroom probably can't fit an elephant.

Bearing witness

2009-02-23T00:00:00.004-05:00

Lots of life on display in the house windows, as Jack notes. And when times get tough, Jack consoles himself with the promise that, someday, he'll be out there wobbling around with the rest of 'em.

Spare parts

2009-02-16T23:38:00.002-05:00

Jack's a big fan of robots, and he seeks to emulate their unblinking, drone-like ways.

Clearance Clarence

2009-02-10T21:07:00.007-05:00

Jack's shaggy locks earned him a trip to the coolest hair salon around, where he could, yes, be miserable, but at least do so in the cockpit of a low-flying Cessna.

The stranger

2009-02-08T00:07:00.006-05:00

Jack says he's evolving, his daily patterns growing more sophisticated as a result of his steady diet of pop-up books and Baby Einstein videos.

He begins each day at the tub anarchist meeting.

Then he disabuses dad of his crazy notions that anarchists are up to no good.

By noon, it's time to rumble with Bella.

Then he gathers himself after a hard fought draw.

Finally, back to the kitchen where, if he plays his cards right, a bottle might be in the offing.

Whiteout in black and white

2009-01-30T18:18:00.005-05:00

Due to ice storms, Jack's daycare was canceled for the week, affording him plenty of time to hustle around the house and chew up everything in his path.

GassyJacks not recession-proof

2009-01-23T18:36:00.002-05:00

Jack photos have been in short supply of late, largely owing to the economic slowdown and a pernicious flu/mystery bug that kept Jack in the dumps for the past week or so. Still, a brief turn in the weather today provided Jack opportunity to break out some of the new looks he'd been working on.

Jailbird

2009-01-04T19:32:00.005-05:00

A life behind bars has its pros and cons, as Jack's quick to point out. The cons: churlish keepers, who dismiss mounting evidence that he's innocent of the charges lodged against him (ie. possession of stolen property--dog food, loitering, disturbing the peace, etc.)

The pros? He gets a taste of freedom at the end of every nap, when one of his keepers must hoist him over the bars. Ahhh...sweet redemption.

Jack's first Christmas

2009-01-04T19:28:00.005-05:00

Jack enjoyed the company of his grandparents and uncle Lionel, who showered him with a level of attention that's been sorely lacking around the old homestead--or so Jack claimed in his complaint to the Department of Social Services.

Mercurial Jack

2009-01-04T18:31:00.004-05:00

The moods just come and go. (It may take a few seconds to load--it's an animated gif)

Traveling man

2008-12-17T00:14:00.005-05:00

When on the road, Jack insists on staying at a Hampton Inn, one of the finest places on the planet, he says, for recovering from the previous night's bottle bender.

Skurrying

2008-12-17T00:01:00.002-05:00

In devising his latest form of locomotion, Jack decided to borrow heavily from the hermit crab. It seems to work, although the average onlooker can't help but wonder whether more efficient means might be available.

Factory town

2008-11-22T23:19:00.007-05:00

It's a long slog getting through the work week, something Jack knows all too well. Some days, it's all he can do to drag himself to the job on time. And things generally go downhill from there.

Bundles up for morning commute.

Checks in with the boss.

Gets a stern talking to.

Wins back boss's trust with earnest promise to do better.

Hits job site and starts getting stuff done.

Gives in to temptation of quick piano break.

Turns in half-hour performance, complete with encore and overturned piano.

Clumsily triggers alarm during night security detail.

Fails to convincingly feign innocence during police interview.

Zen

2008-11-13T22:43:00.003-05:00

Jack finds holding his breath helps him focus and maintain his edge.

New camera

2008-11-04T17:16:00.004-05:00

Thanks everyone for the birthday wishes and help in acquiring a new camera. All of these images come from the new guy. Hmmm...I'm trying to convince myself that I can spot the difference between these files and those from the old camera.

150 percent

2008-10-29T22:45:00.005-04:00

Jack's all about sports. And he says there's no excuse for not staying sharp on your game. So he seizes every opportunity to practice his skills, even in the tub.

Lonesome nights

2008-10-29T22:31:00.005-04:00

Jack said he no longer needs a babysitter when we're away, insisting that he is quite capable of taking care of himself. So last night, the opportunity arose and we gave it a whirl, leaving Jack on his own. In the morning, Jack said he had a grand time, entertaining himself and completely forgetting that he was all alone.

Hmmm....

Headshots

2008-10-18T17:51:00.005-04:00

Jack cooked up a few new looks that he wanted documented for posterity.

On patrol

2008-10-18T17:40:00.003-04:00

Fearing for the family's safety, Jack teamed up with the dogs to form a neighborhood watch. The organization thus far has proven its worth. Not a single break-in is on record since it went live.

Jack and Jazzeppi stay vigilant in the backyard.

Failing to announce one's presence and intentions usually results in an uncomfortable ambush.

Fixing the Cubs' woes

2008-10-12T20:35:00.005-04:00

Tired of the Cubs' lackluster post-season play, Jack's put together a little baseball primer that displays the key steps to success on the sandlot. Jack insisted a Cliff's Notes version be posted here so the Cubs roster can get a jump start on next season.

First, stretch them hammies.

Wave to the cuties in the stands.

Don't forget to mug for the TV cameras.

Exchange surreptitious smack-talk about the opposing team with fellow outfielders.

When victory arrives, make believe like you didn't see it coming.

Runny nose mirror time

2008-10-05T01:08:00.000-04:00

Jack says it doesn't get any better than this.

Parking it

2008-10-05T00:59:00.002-04:00

Jack knew he was heading to the neighborhood park on a sunny day, yet he still donned his trusty frog sweater. He said you never know: the weather could change at any moment, and he wasn't ready to throw in the big towel just yet.

Crazy about the front yard

2008-09-18T20:01:00.005-04:00

Jack spends way too much time in the front yard, the doctors informed us. If he doesn't rein in his front-yard ways, the doc said, he's gonna go crackers.

"Wait...what's this?" the doc said, giving one final assessment of Jack's demented grin. "Nope. We're too late. He's gone."

Welcome news

2008-09-08T19:12:00.003-04:00

Jack was happy to learn today that he gained a new cousin in baby Per, born to his aunt Jacinta and uncle Thore. Jack said he'll remain by his cell phone in case Per wants to chat or maybe exchange notes on the early months.

Bumbo no more

2008-08-31T19:10:00.002-04:00

It recently dawned on Jack that his trusty Bumbo companion might be viewed by his infant peers as something of a crutch. So this week, Jack gave the Bumbo its walking papers and has begun making it a habit to set out on his front lawn excursions on his own.

Liquid diet no more

2008-08-25T21:47:00.003-04:00

Jack's been dropping subtle hints that that weak Simulac Advance gruel just ain't cuttin it no more when it comes to fueling his heroic exploits. A few 3 a.m. wailings got the message out loud and clear. Now, thanks to his handiwork, when he comes home from a hard day at the day care center, he's greeted by something more befitting his expanding stature: Simulac Advance mixed with rice cereal (with no preservatives, thank you). The first meal went something like this:

Introductions made.

Partnership cemented.

Contents plastered.

Bottle nightcapped.

Pacifier sought.

Beth's birthday gift

2008-08-05T18:51:00.003-04:00

Jack's allowance doesn't amount to much, so he had to resort to a fashion shoot for mom this year.

Jack gets visitors from far-flung lands

2008-08-02T23:55:00.003-04:00

Beehners from far away descended upon Jack's crib this past week, seeking iPhone guidance and quality time out on the front stoop. Jack, once again, provided in full. It was nothing, he added.

Ham time

2008-07-24T13:15:00.003-04:00

Make-shift studio time incorporates Jack's two favorite things: going topless and making faces in quick succession. He likes to cap off the session with a few pensive looks--his trademark--which he says gives the impression of depth.

Toddler antics

2008-07-24T10:03:00.005-04:00

As if lifted from the pages of a Hemingway novel, Jack has been increasingly asserting his rugged individualism: hunting for bear on the local school playground, loitering in areas deemed unsafe for normal folk and returning home later and later into the night, usually dragging along his latest prize, whether a set of kickin' rims, an 8-point buck or some weathered, yellowed map that supposedly leads to Cortez's lost loot. They grow up so fast.

Toddler angst

2008-07-23T00:37:00.006-04:00

Jack came home yesterday in police bracelets, attended to by two officers who said this marked his third run-in with law enforcement this month. Jack's illiteracy aside, the officers said, they had their doubts that he wasn't going out of his way to snub his nose at all forms of authority.

Jack's sidewalk gift

2008-07-17T15:36:00.003-04:00

Jack says it's too hot to be productive. Hence, he's started a one-man club that's devoted to one thing: cheering on pedestrians. It was a banner day today, as Jack lifted the spirits of two dogs, a man carrying an empty gas canister and a pair of skateboarders. Jack was pleased with his day's work.

Caution: Baby at work

2008-07-12T09:30:00.003-04:00

As per Jack's requests, GassyJacks will be undergoing some modifications over the next few weeks to expand its capacity to capture Jack's good works. Despite some minor kinks in the layout (particularly to the old posts), Jack says the end result will be worth the trouble.

Bigger blog

2008-07-10T23:27:00.000-04:00

Jack asked for larger images on his blog. We complied.

Say cheese

2008-07-07T00:50:00.000-04:00

Jack is learning to love the camera. That is when he isn't razzing it.

Lazy days

2008-07-01T22:34:00.001-04:00

With summer's arrival, Jack finds himself out of work and somewhat idle. After a few minutes of hitting the phones, Jack tends to fold it up and head for his playthings. Sometimes he shares a paper-bag fitted bottle of Similac with Jazzeppi (the dog). Other times he just loiters outside the family's garage, eyes peeled for rival toughs spoiling for some action. But mostly he just kicks it old school out front, exchanging intricate hand shakes with the mailman. One thing's for sure: His kids will hear of the wild times back in the Summer of '08.

Prison break

2008-06-28T17:44:00.000-04:00

After months of cabin fever and enduring a battery of unchallenging conversations at the hands of his parents, Jack had had enough.

He enlisted the aid of his trusty Bumbo and hatched an escape plan: make a mad dash for the border under the cover of naptime. The plan was going off without a hitch, that is until the house dogs--aka "the lapdogs"--saw their chance to curry favor with their owners and ratted them out with a few well-timed barks from the window.

Freedom was so close, Jack and Bumbo could taste it.

Lesson learned: Next time, before disembarking, remember to grease the skids with the dogs.

Have Bumbo, will travel

2008-06-24T17:14:00.000-04:00

Jack and his borrowed Bumbo have become fast friends, setting off on excursions to the far reaches of his parents' strange and exotic fenced-in property. Upon his return, Jack regales listeners with tales from his adventures, including his legendary encounter with a poisonous snake, which he says he trapped in his iron grip and dispatched in a vigorous bout of gnawing.

Going Bumbo

2008-06-20T19:43:00.000-04:00

Jack borrowed a Bumbo from friends, and then promptly spent the entire day in the thing, save for wardrobe breaks. Still, it provided for emotional roller coaster ride, as documented below.

Same video, different host

2008-06-13T22:56:00.001-04:00

Apparently, the good folks at Google Video are prone to keeping the Jack video all to themselves. Jack says this is not the way it was meant to be, and has instructed his posse to place the same video on a competitor's site: YouTube.

With any luck, this video will play more consistently. We'll see.

Jack gets a role in summer blockbuster

2008-06-09T01:05:00.000-04:00

Jack was followed around by a documentary crew this past week. The tally: A sum total of 20 minutes of video, which was then trimmed and stuffed into the vignettes below. Once Jack can sit up and maybe crawl through the house, the video crew said they'd be interested in returning for a sequel. Ecstatic at the prospect of more camera time, Jack threw aloft the chicken wing, which is his patented mid-western gang sign.

The video is sort of longish (a minute and a half), which means it may take a minute or so to upload depending on your internet connection.

Appearing soon...

2008-06-04T20:44:00.000-04:00

GassyJack's will soon feature video footage, thanks to Jack signing off on the purchase of a new Panasonic camcorder.

Below is the operator's attempt to learn iMovie.

Jack sniffed that the first attempt was "borderline unwatchable." Future attempts, he warned, better be more seasoned and polished, showing the camcorder's subject in a more "flattering and favorable light." This has all been duly noted.

Jack's Mega-Mind-Blowing Magical Moment

2008-06-01T11:51:00.000-04:00

Jack has been working on a magic trick, which he says is not for the faint of heart. So brace yourself. He'll take it from here.

"See this fist? Watch me eat it whole."

"Mmmpfff..."

"Mmmmppfffhh...."

"Hmmmpph..."

(crying noises)

(pouting noises)

(sulking noises)

"You won't tell anyone about this, will you?"

Jack visits grandparents and cousins

2008-05-27T19:49:00.001-04:00

Jack paid a visit to family in Bourbonnais, Ill., last weekend.

You've got questions, we've got answers.

Becky keeps a watchful eye on her little cousin.

Jack learns where the center of the universe is located.
He's not surprised.

Jack dreams of the impassioned oratories he'll deliver before Congress.

Jack submitted this photo to the Vatican, petitioning for early canonization. His request is still being weighed.

Jack insists on good hygiene, despite his terror of being removed from the bathtub.

Parents are lame

2008-05-11T23:19:00.000-04:00

When are they gonna learn?

Shazam!

2008-05-11T23:11:00.000-04:00

Jack recently ordered a "Lil' Wizard's Kit" in the mail, from which he gleaned a few spells that he likes to cast on his unsuspecting parents. His success rate is still in the dumps, but that hasn't dampened his enthusiasm for the pursuit of the perfect spell.

Jack sheds the bald look

2008-05-11T22:32:00.001-04:00

Jack says hair is in this summer, so he changed his look to keep up with the fashion. His new (if sparse) locks also have motivated Jack to get more "beauty sleep," as he dubs it. He now routinely sleeps upwards of five hours, a practice he likes to cap with a healthy bottle of Similac. Then it's back to bed for another dose of beauty rest. He hastens to add that his parents appeared delighted to hear of his insights on the importance of uninterrupted sleep.

After a hard day's work...

2008-04-15T17:21:00.001-04:00

Jack likes to unwind by the boppy, maybe swap a few yarns with the regulars and then order up a tall bottle of his favorite beverage: Similac.

Jack says his first words...

2008-04-07T18:39:00.000-04:00

I was watching CNN on the TV--a story about Venezuelan president Hugo Chavez and the socialist party--when Jack hoisted a fist aloft and exclaimed his first words:

"Viva la revolucion!"

It was powerful. He maintained the vigil for the duration of the piece. The CNN story continued, and Jack's arm refused to come down.

Finally, after the piece ended, I asked Jack if his arm was getting tired. He acknowledged it was.

"Why don't you give the resistance movement a small break?" I asked. "I think your comrades in arms will be there, still spoiling for a fight, after a diaper change."

He gave me a suspicious glance, weighing my motives.

Finally, the fight drained from his brow. He sighed, and his little arm--along with the lofty ideals it stood for--lowered into his lap. Then, as I leaned in to pick him up, he raised up on his Boppy, his face turning toward mine:

"Dad?"

"Yeah, little man?"

"Can I wear my camouflage pajamas to bed?"

"Yeah sure. That sounds like a fine idea."

Jack at bedtime

2008-04-04T23:14:00.001-04:00

Jack gets ready for bed.

Mom reads Jack a silly children's book.

Dad picks up silly children's book. Realizes what he's been missing.

Photo dump

2008-03-30T18:41:00.005-04:00

Welcome to Gassy Jack's

2008-03-23T19:18:00.004-04:00

Thanks for visiting Jack's blog.

Jack, the proprieter, promises to update this site regularly with insightful, family-friendly posts. Failing that, Jack says he'll at least try to post regularly, and occasionally without profanity.

So enjoy.